I grew up in a family where children were not to be heard and could not do anything right. Over and over again I would never amount to anything. Over and over these words echoed in my head as I journeyed through life. Prove it became the melody in my head as I pushed myself to the brink of exhaustion in everything I did, because in my mind I had something to prove to my parents that I am someone and that I am going to make it. I ended up in college and became a nurse, as a single mom built a house to raise my family in, now back in college and working hard to be on the Dean’s list and the other day I had a breakdown moment and realized, the very same people I feel I have to prove something to are no longer living. Then I realized the people around me do not care whether I am on the Dean’s list, or successful, or….. what am I doing living to prove I am someone? I realized for the past 45 years I have lived with those haunting words and I do not want to live like that anymore because in living to prove I am someone, I lost me. Learning to be free from that prison is a day by day journey. Somedays those words still echo in my mind, but I have learned to pause and remind myself to breathe, and embrace my new journey one step at a time. How many of you are in the same situation? Struggling to prove something to someone is life draining and engulfs you in a prison of misery. I want you to know today that the real you are more valuable than the person you have allowed yourself to become. Any day that you are ready to stop proving yourself to people and open the prison door and take that step is the day you will begin to experience the freedom of being you.
Tag Archives: college
The Journey
As I was going through my senior daughter’s pictures trying to pick and choose ones for her graduation party, I found myself going down memory lane. From life’s first cry to now another part of her journey. As a single mom raising five girls, there have been many struggles, good times, failures, success and every emotion in between in these years. The warm tears falling down my cheek, memories but also the realization that I too am moving on to another chapter of my life as one more child goes off to college to pursue a career, one moving over seas, and another so engrossed in her career we often do not see her. I am reminded going through pictures that life never stops not for one second and we must embrace every season for as long as it last. Today as I am sitting here writing I am filled with every emotion a mother can have during these times, but most of all I am thankful for the journey.
Yours truly, T 